Self Improvement

The world is full of ideas on how to make you stand out or to be the latest trend. Despite the world, become yourself.

At a dance, I stood against the back wall, attempting to appear cool and mysterious. Eventually, a young lady asked me to dance. After chatting, she said, "You're much nicer than I thought. You should smile more." We all have moments when we try to emulate others. At our core, we're all unique children of God, and our journey is unlike anyone else's. To be confident and happy, be yourself.

When I taught gymnastics, I had a new student who always seemed unhappy despite my positive feedback. I asked her what was wrong. She grumbled and stomped her foot, saying, "Why doesn't anyone like me? Why can't I do what the others are doing?" I replied, "You're not angry at them; you just want to be their friend. Be yourself, smile, and they will see the real you. As for your second question, be patient. The harder tricks come with more practice. You're doing great after just a few days!" After our chat, she quickly made new friends by just being herself.

Dwelling on negative thoughts leads to self-doubt and unhappiness, altering your perspective. You blame others for your unhappiness and accept negative thinking as truth, leading to a "you vs them" mentality. Are most of your thoughts about being a victim? Focus on daily positives and lessons learned from trials. Make a positive change by eliminating negative distractions. You are becoming yourself again.

Always remember that you are a loved child of our Father in Heaven. He knows you.

Infuse positive thinking into your prayers by focusing on gratitude. When you firmly believe in your divine heritage, others' negative opinions won't matter. If they say negative things, they don't truly know you and are attempting to bring you down. If they say positive things, they see you for who you are. You are becoming yourself again.

Comparing ourselves to others often leads to a downward spiral. There's always someone better or worse in most aspects of life. The only person you can truly control is yourself. You have the power to shape your thoughts, actions, and reactions. Learn from your failures and concentrate on YOUR progress. This way, you'll spiral upwards, not downwards. Beware, don't compare. You are becoming yourself again.

You are a unique child of God, and your path is special. Seek His guidance on your journey. You were never a mistake. Become your true self by focusing on your progress mentally, physically, and spiritually. Spread care and support rather than judgment. Despite the world, become yourself.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Nothing can bring you happiness but yourself.

Being self-aware is part of growing up. Finding who you are in the grand scheme of things, and what you stand for. When you believe in God, it brings a larger perspective to life.

At 15, I began to cultivate my belief that God exists. Events from my past led me to believe there is more to life than what I see. As my faith grew, one question stood out. If I believe God to be real, then "Who am I?"

If God is also my Heavenly Father, I must have a spirit. Looking beyond the science, I would marvel at how a single thought would move my fingers or toes far from my brain. Thoughts from my spirit must be directly meshed to my brain. Like wearing a mech suit or cyborg hand. Felt like my thoughts were deeper than my brain, even deeper than my spirit, just me and my thoughts. So here was my theory, of me:

I am me. I can think. My thoughts control my spirit and body equally. My spirit is deeply meshed with my body and is connected to God through the Holy Ghost. Tune in.

My "theory of me" pushed me further. I would sometimes study my reflection in the mirror, and again ask "Who am I?" What I see is me and not me, there is more. One time, I was rushing to my high school locker in between class periods. I thought, who are all these people really? Are they more than what I see? Then back to thinking, "Who am I?", "I am who?" And as I asked "I am..." it resonated for a split second and I felt, not heard, "I existed before, now, and in the future." Everything flashed white, and I awkwardly dropped my books. It was like my tiny computer brain could not comprehend what I felt, and it reset.

In my search for "Who am I?", I never looked for signs, or if my old "theory of me" held merit. I was only interested in praying to God and building that relationship. However, it was my search that pointed me towards a mission to preach the Gospel of Christ in Hong Kong. Once I understood the broader perspective of Heaven, and hell, I saw our grander purpose of being on Earth. I know who I am. I am a child of God. I am gratefully aware of His hand in my life.

I do believe I am more than what I see. I am me. I existed with God before I was born and will exist after I die. Life goes on with God and Christ leading the way.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.

I'm so thankful because of my relationship with Jesus Christ and being adopted in the family of God that I don't have to live the highs and the lows and the roller coaster that the rest of the world lives, because I know where my identity lies. My identity lies as a child of God, and that's something that will never be shaken.

What is so good about stony beaches? The stones.

After church in England, my dad would drive us to Felixstowe for a walk along the stony beaches. Breezy and overcast, we always looked forward to it. My sister and I would skip rocks. The highlight was finding a rock with a natural hole through it. The hole was small and surrounded by a smooth gradual bevel, showing decades of sand abrasion from the waves. We would wear them as good luck charms. None were perfectly centered, each had a special shape. We are all like these stones. Patiently and uniquely sculpted into who we are and will be. Constantly refined by waves of trials that sand us into something special before God. Transforming our hearts to inspire goodness in others. And shape our holiness.

Inspired by a scripure from Peter aka the Rock.

Be Ye Holy, For I Am Holy.

There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.

Priorities can change over time. What you think will make you happy, may become a burden instead.

I had a long bus ride to high school. About an hour. This was before the Walkman, before the boombox. One day I brought my new Panasonic, single-speaker cassette player to quietly listen to. A couple of people yelled, "Crank it up!". So I did. The entire bus was quiet, listening to my mixed tape tunes the whole trip. I felt like a DJ. I did that for a while until someone brought in a larger cassete player. In junior college, I was invited to be a yell leader since I knew gymnastics. Every week I would go to the local radio station and compile a football gameday ad with music tracks. They even let me curate some playlists as my suggestions became popular.

Later at a larger college, my rockstar friend offered to split the proceeds inbetween tours, for me to DJ with his band's equipment. YES! Now I had large speakers and could play whatever I wanted. Not to boast, but my playlists affected the entire dance scene in the area. Tons of indoor and outdoor dances. The police shut me down three times, it was so loud. I lived in a dance era saturated with Europop. Believe it or not, nobody mixed in classic rock with Europop, until me. And they loved it. That lasted until he went on tour later that year. I got a job out of college and saved, not for a car or house, but my own DJ system of course. Priorities. I got the largest bass cabinets possible. Massive mid and high speakers sat on each speaker tower. Two huge double-hung lighting trees with fog and a mirror ball. And the latest rack equipment to power it all. Since I was a graphic designer, my DJ brand looked current and established. I bought a used Chevy van for $400 to haul it all. This was my dream since High School.

I offered to do my first dance for free to test my sonic masterpiece. Tons of flyers went out. Lots of people showed up. It sounded amazing, it felt amazing. My bones were vibrating, and I was far behind the mega speakers. The lights flashed to the music as I beat matched my way to oblivion that night. It was cool to see everyone dancing to what I was creating. Looked like they were bouncing on clouds with streaks of synced lightning flashing everywhere. It was a hit. I did three more dances the next month. Then realized something. Being a DJ was no longer fun. Yes, I could have got more portable speakers, but that was not the dream. I wanted the massive sound wall to really move people with my music compilations. And now that I did it for hundreds of people who loved it. Working until 3am every weekend... No time for dating, or church the next morning... It would take years to recoup what I spent. Did not make sense anymore.

I sold it all to a friend, and bought one red Corvette, then two. Had a lot of fun, but eventually got in an accident with each. One was a miraculous 720 spinout at freeway speeds where my convertible slid perfectly into the emergency lane. Wish I had that on camera. No one got hurt and I was not at fault. The second was when the emergency brake mysteriously popped open and rolled my T-top forward into a stream. Even my bullet bike got stolen. Weird. Seemed like God was telling me something. I sold both Corvettes after I fixed them, and was left with my old Chevy van. It was then I realized, I was happier without all that stuff. I enjoyed my weekends again. Was not too tired for church. Probably would have killed myself with my sports cars and bullet-bike. Was my dream to be a DJ worth all the time and money it took to get there? Yes, I actually did it. And no, because it was a waste of time and money after only four dances.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson. We don't bring any material goods back with us after we die.

The treasures we are gathering are life lessons and memories of what matters most. God, family, and friends. My friend who bought my equipment, let me DJ when I wanted. We had a blast and a long friendship! I was even the first DJ in the area to go digital. You should have seen the dance club owner's face when I showed up with only a laptop. Rock on!

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.

Free will is one of God's greatest gifts to His children. Our lives teach us what makes us both happy and sad. Hopefully, we remember our happy place.

One of my happiest childhood memories was from a small park in England. It had a basic swingset and slide in the center, nothing fancy. An open grassy area to run around and play ball with an exceptionally large old tree at one end. That tree was our jungle gym and shade from the summer heat. When the grass was too long to play ball, we would lay back under the tree and point out shapes in the moving clouds.

On the other end of the park, there was a small cement bunker called a pillbox. Leftover from the last world war. It was the perfect play fort for squirt guns, tag, or capture the flag. Our pantomime of war was imagined from shows like Gomer Pyle and Hogan's Heroes. The only scary thing I saw was a huge dead rat in the tall grass.

A memory that contains both elements of happiness and death.

I could imagine the horrors of war or monster rats. What good would that do? My happy place is not perfect, neither are random thoughts. All thoughts are allowed, but I choose to focus on what brings me true happiness and peace. Even today when drifting to my mental happy place, I still go to this park. Laying under the tree, looking at the clouds, listening to the wind blow through the long green grass.

We always have a choice on what we focus on. Where do you live in your head?

I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

What I have got from my childhood aren't toys, but memories. And happy memories are better than any toy.

As we spend the time of our lives, are we focusing on the things that matter most? What impression will we leave for our posterity?

Once upon a time, my family lived in England while I attended elementary school. I loved black currant sweets and Yorkshire pudding with roast beef smothered in gravy. Chunky sugar crystals on buttery biscuits and tea. Genuine fish and chips. Fond memories of rolling green hills outlined with old stone walls and welcoming trees. Or the cozy storybook thatched villages with three-wheeled cars putting by. But my favorite thing was to visit the magical castles and cathedrals with my parents.

My parents brought me along while they did brass rubbings. Brass rubbings are when a grave cover stone is topped with persons commemorated in a flat brass engraving. Usually with an inscription at the bottom. They used a large gold crayon on black paper to stencil, or rub, those brass engravings. For me, it was like looking into the casket just before they were laid to rest - all beautifully adorned. I imagined this was Camelot and I rubbing shoulders with real knights and royalty. My parents were the royal artists drawing the residents before they peacefully slept using their golden wands.

Some of these same brass rubbings are now passed on to my walls. I think, what impression will I leave?

Maybe an epic hero engraving from saving the world? Christ has already accomplished that feat. He saved us and left an impression that affects all generations. Since I can't compete with that, why not follow Him? My inscription could read, "To my loving family, I am a child of God who is grateful for all I have been given. I am a believer in the healing Atonement of Jesus Christ and His Gospel. I am a good person that asks for forgiveness every day. I am nothing without our Father in Heaven. I am everything because of you. Until we meet again." ...with an engraving of a kneeling knight in shining armor, because why not? "Fight the good fight!"

What impression would you leave?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Kids don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.

What does it take to become a gymnastic superstar? For me, it takes four things.

Many years back, I ran a non-competitive gymnastics program called Funastics. The kids that came to Funastics were excited to learn how to roll, jump, and flip in fun ways… but the lessons learned were more than just that. The fact these kids showed up each day, expressed to me their ongoing belief that they could do this stuff, despite any fears they initially had. Many who walked in had no prior gymnastics background, They could instantly see peers doing some difficult skills that might seem intimidating. From simple rolls on day 1 to tricks that defied gravity. It took courage for all students to just show up and try.

This brings me to the 4 tenets of the Funastics Star program: Courage, Commitment, Control, and Confidence, my building blocks of a superstar.

Each time a child could not do a skill, the focus turned to WHAT they learned and could do, not to failure. And it was their commitment that got them to get up off the mat, to try again, and again. There is no halfway to do a skill safely. Everyone in the Funastics star program practiced at their own skill level, meaning they could not try a harder trick until they safely passed off a prerequisite skill. Along with having fun, it took a lot of sweat and self-control to earn each star badge.

And with each earned gymnastic success sprang self-confidence. Confidence that bolstered their courage, drove their commitment to keep trying, which resulted in better self-control. Once this new level of confidence was awakened, the cycle started all over again with the courage to try something even more challenging...even more fun. Success builds confidence. If you are not finding personal success, find what you CAN do successfully, and start building from there.

As a coach, my kids needed to not only believe in themselves, but they had to trust their spotter or they would hesitate in mid-air. Anyone flipping backward toward the ground, as fast as they can, while attempting a back-hand-spring or back tuck, has to fully believe that their spotter will be there for them, and together they can do it. It takes all 4 - Courage, Commitment, Control, and Confidence. Yet it all starts with a belief that "I can".

It was my job to help the students learn how to roll, flip and fly. To help them find the courage to try something new. To commit to trying, again and again, to develop control of mind and body through safe structured practice. And ultimately build their self-confidence with success, one star at a time.

Can I change a child into a gymnastic superstar? The answer is I cannot. Only the children can change themselves. I can only try to guide them. Every day in our huddle, I would remind them, Who controls your body? (all say) I do! Who controls your mind? I do! Who decides you are good? I do! Who decides you are a good person? I do! You need to tell yourself that every day. No one tells you who you are, but you.

It is the same with becoming a faithful follower of Jesus. You control you. It takes Courage to stand up and share what you believe, every day. It takes commitment to learn from your mistakes and try again, every day. It takes self-control to obey the commandments, every day. And when you exercise your faith and see the peace and silent miracles the Gospel brings to both you and those you teach, it gives you the confidence to jump over life's stumbling blocks, every day.

But they that await upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Commitment is a little like diving into the water. Either you are committed or you are not. Either you are moving forward or you are standing still. There’s no halfway. We all face moments of decision that change the rest of our lives.

Understanding that we are our worst critics. How much are you worth?

A wise teacher once started his class by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this." He crumpled the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Crumpled, dirty, or clean, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by, WHO WE ARE. You are special - don't ever forget it.

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.

To lack confidence is to have feelings of low self-worth. We are preoccupied with our weaknesses, and we lack faith in the Lord’s ability to use those weaknesses for our good. We do not understand our divine potential.