Who am I?

Being self-aware is part of growing up. Finding who you are in the grand scheme of things, and what you stand for. When you believe in God, it brings a larger perspective to life.

At 15, I began to cultivate my belief that God exists. Events from my past led me to believe there is more to life than what I see. As my faith grew, one question stood out. If I believe God to be real, then "Who am I?"

If God is also my Heavenly Father, I must have a spirit. Looking beyond the science, I would marvel at how a single thought would move my fingers or toes far from my brain. Thoughts from my spirit must be directly meshed to my brain. Like wearing a mech suit or cyborg hand. Felt like my thoughts were deeper than my brain, even deeper than my spirit, just me and my thoughts. So here was my theory, of me:

I am me. I can think. My thoughts control my spirit and body equally. My spirit is deeply meshed with my body and is connected to God through the Holy Ghost. Tune in.

My "theory of me" pushed me further. I would sometimes study my reflection in the mirror, and again ask "Who am I?" What I see is me and not me, there is more. One time, I was rushing to my high school locker in between class periods. I thought, who are all these people really? Are they more than what I see? Then back to thinking, "Who am I?", "I am who?" And as I asked "I am..." it resonated for a split second and I felt, not heard, "I existed before, now, and in the future." Everything flashed white, and I awkwardly dropped my books. It was like my tiny computer brain could not comprehend what I felt, and it reset.

In my search for "Who am I?", I never looked for signs, or if my old "theory of me" held merit. I was only interested in praying to God and building that relationship. However, it was my search that pointed me towards a mission to preach the Gospel of Christ in Hong Kong. Once I understood the broader perspective of Heaven, and hell, I saw our grander purpose of being on Earth. I know who I am. I am a child of God. I am gratefully aware of His hand in my life.

I do believe I am more than what I see. I am me. I existed with God before I was born and will exist after I die. Life goes on with God and Christ leading the way.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.

I'm so thankful because of my relationship with Jesus Christ and being adopted in the family of God that I don't have to live the highs and the lows and the roller coaster that the rest of the world lives, because I know where my identity lies. My identity lies as a child of God, and that's something that will never be shaken.